What Your Child's Teacher Isn't Telling You About Bullying

1.
The teacher wasn't watching the class very closely.
Even the best teachers can get side tracked.
While she's reviewing the spelling quiz with one student individually, another student may be on the other side of the classroom passing around a mean-spirited note meant to belittle a vulnerable child. Some teachers however are more likely to tune out bad behavior in students.

Other teachers have developed the bad habit of leaving the classroom unattended, perhaps to run off copies use the restroom.
You can bet that students know that they can get away with more when the teacher isn't in close proximity. If you believe that your child's teacher is out of the classroom or otherwise too laid back in her approach to classroom management, it may be time to speak to the principal about your concerns.

2. There was a substitute teacher the day that your child was bullied.

Substitute teachers are often retired teachers or teacher hopefuls, with some teacher credentials and job training that would allow them to manage a classroom in the absence of the regular teacher. However well-trained they are, most people agree that their jobs can be quite difficult.

The teacher who is in the classroom most of the time is familiar with her students.

She can spot trouble before it's happening.

However, the substitute is not necessarily going to know the students as well, nor is she going to know what has transpired in the classroom in recent days. The best way to prepare your child for bullying that might occur when there is a substitute is to mention-without blowing the issue out of proportion-that he or she make an extra effort to avoid bullies on days when there is a sub.

If he or she is worried about a particular student or a particular situation (perhaps recess time on the playground), he or she can make the extra effort to stay in closer proximity to the substitute teacher during that time. 3.
The bully will be punished differently because he has a disability. A bully diagnosed with a disability such as severe ADHD or a personality disorder may be entitled to certain rights and protections under federal law.

Sometimes writing a discipline referral to the principal for one of these students can mean extra paperwork or extra meetings with the child's intervention team. To complicate matters even more, confidentiality laws prevent you from knowing other students' disability records or intervention plans.
A North Carolina elementary school principal advises parents to show both sensitivity and sensibility in intervening when your child is bullied by a student with an obvious disability, "Turn the situation into a teachable moment with your child.

Talk to your child about what the bully is able to control and what they bully isn't able to control, when to tell and when to avoid." If the school doesn't seem to be addressing the bully's behavior it may be time to schedule a conference with the teacher or the principal.
Provide documentation of incidents your child has endured and be specific about the times and locations the incidents happened.

If you approach the situation in the spirit of helping everyone involved, it's likely that all of the children will benefit. 4.
The incident you are describing isn't bullying.

Conventional wisdom tells us that a child is either a bully or a victim. We've turned the word "bully" into a catch phrase that children and adults use for a variety of behaviors. The problem is that the word sometimes is used to describe horseplay or other mutually reciprocated behaviors. Bullying occurs between children when there is an imbalance of power.

One child uses his or her physical, social, or mental might to overpower, embarrass, harm, or exclude another child.
Horseplay occurs when two children are both playing too rough.
Someone gets hurt, and then someone cries "bully" to offset his or her role in the incident.

Help your child learn to use the word bully when it's appropriate. Listen carefully to your child describe playground or classroom social situations and help him or her to identify when an incident is truly bullying.
It's all about looking for patterns of behavior, extreme events, and considering all logical possibilities before drawing a conclusion.